“A great introduction to understanding how I work in a relationship…and how to explain it to others. In reading Leading and Supportive Love, I found myself identifying with the Supportive-type. It matched my giver-nature from all my years volunteering with charities and donating time and talent. I wanted to have a defined role where I could know my position and know that my partner was going to step up, make decisions, and stand by them as well as recognize my efforts towards our joint-success. I wanted someone else to take charge and make sure that we were making progress as a team.
As a volunteer as well as an employee, when I am asked to be in charge I slip into a Type-A dynamic that is rather hard-edged and intense. It doesn’t really present me with a supportive side. And I want that supportive side to show through.
In reviewing my past partners, I found that very few of them were Leaders in my relationship with them. Those that have the traits, I am still good friends with…and we work well together on projects to this day. Then there are others who just don’t fit in either role — and that’s fine, it just means I did not get my needs met in our relationships. Then there were a few who were very much Supportive-types like me…and I could see how we spiraled into a “waiting for the other to decide/take action” vortex. Those relationships were very unhealthy for me.”